Sweet nothings

100% insane and 200% inane

Madras eye

Posted by Indherjith On 10:48 PM 1 comments

During school days kids were fascinated towards many things like an ultra modern cycle, power shoe, a stylish school bag, etc but you know what iam fascinated against, it is nothing but madras eye. Sounds weird, but I liked it, one is reason is that I can get 4 or 5 days leave, I can simply lie down in home & doing nothing, second reason is that I can escape from my home work. It is really amusing to see the reaction of other people when they met with a person affected by madras eye. Some people will close their eyes, turns their face, running away from the place and so on, they behave in a funny way as if they met with a bomb blast or something. The act of frightening people and making fun of them always amuses me. Even my class teacher Mr.Janarthanan a worst nightmare whom everyone will afraid of, will also jump on his feet with utmost fear when he see a madras eye person. So for all these or one of these reason I want to get affected (powered?!) by madras eye. But the sad thing is that, the madras doesn’t love me in the way I love it, not even turning its face to me.


I’ve asked consulted many of the experts to know ‘how to get affected by madras eye’ to learn technical know-hows. One expert told me to put eye drops (in specific, six drops in each eye). I got angry and asked him, these drops will prevent me from that, you are spoiling my whole plan. Then he consoled me saying, see ram these drops will really cause infection to the person who is not having the madras eye, I’ve tried it once, he added further.

Immediately I went to medical shop, got the medicine and poured 10 drops in each eye (see I’m very enthusiastic and committed). But next day morning I was excepted some fantastic results(?!) and slowly opened my eyes, suddenly rushed towards the mirror……oh……oh……….my eyes…………..were as clean as a slate ,looked very bright and white…….nothing worked out in my favor. I’m totally depressed.

Then I stopped seeking others advice, started to believe in my intellectuality (?!), When I saw any infected person and I looked very closely their eyes more than ½ an hour with out winking my eyes. My eyes started watering and became red, thank god my plan worked out atlast……….i want to should loudly………..hurrrraaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, like when Edison invented the bulb after his 999 failures. I went to my eyes and slept early by closing my eyes tightly………in an attempt to preserve the infection (?!!!). Next day morning also came………I felt some irritation in my eyes…..rushed through the mirror……..unfortunately……..nothing seemed too improved.

I never disappointed….i don’t want get bogged down by these things…..these failures made me to strive more that ultimate success. It pushed me like rocket, the desire of getting madras eye pressurized me …..to get the result. Atlast I went to the extreme…….i got the kerchief of an infected persons kerchief (he use that to dry his infected watering eyes) and touched my eyes with that kerchief and held it for a long time. I went home and closed my eyes tight…………next day morning I rushed towards the mirror and I seen……wow……….my eyes were red……reddish like blood……godddddddddddd, I have achieved it atlast…….immediately I went to my dad and shown him my eyes…..he also frightened by seeing that and confirmed it is madras eye……my also frightened and started avoiding me……..she told me not to come out of the room so that other family members wont get affected. Yooooo!!!! Finally I became one of them……I made it true..it was like dream come true for me. Immediately I called my class teacher and informed him with pride ‘sir I got madras eye’ as if I got state first in my public exam, he replied, oh ram I feel sorry for you, please don’t come to school till it is cured, take your own time, the fear in his voice made me more happpppppyyyyyyyyyyy……

The whole day I was staying in home and started enjoying (?!) the madras eye. That day evening my dad came from office, and took me to the doctor, he felt that it was very bothering for him to see me with it. We both went to doctor, most of the patients were turning their faces when they saw me, it made me very happy, obviously. The doctor made me to sit a table, looked at me saying, he seems to be terrifically affected and started to examine my eyes…..after that……….he said……your sons eyes is affected because of sorry not because of…….madras eye………….it is due to too much of heat, offer him some fruits and coconut drinks…….make to take oil both, then he’ll ok. That word totally broke my heart to the core. My father smiled at me and said….oh dear….you got good immune system…so don’t worry nothing will affect you… he added….you are going to school tomorrow alright……..i went totally down……felt very weak…..shook my head un willingly…… I was totally frustrated and said to myself…..i never going to try it here after………..and I followed………….

After that…many years have passed……………and today morning I felt it very hard to open my eyes…..my eyes lashes were stuck together….with the semi-liquid state of eye waters. I rushed through the mirror and seen……….hey It was redd…..an mild happiness spread through my body….but I controlled my enthusiasm…..because of my poor past experiences……With that problem……I came to office…..people were commented that my eyes were red……talked each other that it may be madras eye…….again I’m controlling my enthusiasmmmm……….my mind said…..wait till evening if it gets worse further…definitely it is madras eye………….i’m waiting……….stilll…………lets see how things gets worked out.

Categories:

Tandoori with sindoori

Posted by Indherjith On 10:43 PM 2 comments

Prologue

Vivek is one of my close friend since my childhood; very soon he became part of my routine life. He has a habit (bad?!) of seeking my accompany for everything he does, sometimes for loo too. One fine day he came to my home with so much of joy, showing his all 28 teeth (2 were decayed).Before me asking the reason, he himself told me “hey rishi, I got a brand new pulsar bike dude, we are going to rock the roads hereafter”.

I was literally shocked; rocking the roads is a big word for him because he doesn’t know driving. As usual I’m the driving teacher for him, every day to the railway ground for practice. On the very first day of the driving class, he asked me a question, that question was totally ruined all my motivation for teaching driving to him, ‘Rishi, you are asking me to do hold the clutch, rise the accelerator, press the gear at a time and more over I have to keep a eye on road too. See da, i have only brain, how can you expect me too perform this multifarious activities in same time, I can’t. After this question I doubted whether he has even a brain or not.

After a week’s vigorous training vivek was all set to hit the main road, to my astonishment vivek started driving bike excellently in the main road, his fluency in changing the gears made me to feel proud of him. Everything went fine till he turned his bike in a right side lane, there was a lorry suddenly peeked in to the lane, ‘I shouted vivek brake, brake, press the brakee…….he broke all my happiness, instead of applying the brake, he took his hands off from the handle bar (like someone said ‘hands-up’ at him) and shouted ‘aiyoooooooo’. The bike crashed at the near by wall, the bike fell over me I got was badly hurt in my right hand and my head got a heavy blow in the wall. Vivek was thrown out of the bike; fell safely in the heap of garbage. I thought it was very tough for someone to differentiate between him n garbage, I fell unconscious.


The happening

Next day, when i opened my eyes i was admitted in a hospital, i was badly hurt and can’t even move my right shoulder, it’s a fracture said the nurse. I was just lying down in the bed without doing anything for 3 or 4 hrs; it was very boring in the hospital even though the nurses were beautiful. Damn boring here, I told to nurse. Don’t worry da I’m here, a voice came from the main door, ohhhhhh, my saviour was entering in to room in slow motion. Oh god….what is he is going to do again….i got a shiver in my backbone.

Vivek was sitting near me, reading a novel without disturbing me. My mobile phone was beeping continuously every minute, disturbing vivek’s concentration. Like most of the college goers, sms chat (especially with gals, hehe) has become one of my bad habits. Vivek asked me, who is it rishi, sending you continuous messages. He saw the mobile in a surprised tone he told, you’ve got 8 missed calls and 20 messages. It was sindoori, one of my close friends, I’m not in a position to reply her, I told him. When I told sindoori, vivek’s face was glowing like a 1000 watts bulb, ever helping vivek extended his arms to help me in this regard. Don’t worry machi, you dictate, I’ll type the message to reply her. No vivek it is an unnecessary burden for you, you’ve to reply hell a lot of message. See rishi, no formalities between us, you are my friend da, I’m here to help you only. The courtesy shown by vivek pleased me to the core, I was about to shed tears.

Vivek explained the accident and everything to sindoori, messages and dictated replies were continued about an hour. Sindoori continuously talking with me through my TYPIST (vivek). The pace of sending messages slowed down and vivek felt like exhausted.

He told me, buttons were too hard in your mobile, my fingers were paining. Shall i ask sindoori to send message to my mobile. Without any hesitation, unaware of vivek’s wickedness I said ok. Vivek performed the same TYPIST for about sometime; don’t know when i fell asleep.

When I opened my eyes it was around 7pm, I was told by mom that vivek has left the hospital before few hours. I starred at my mobile, no beep sounds from it. For the first time in this year my mobile was continuously silent for two hours. It was paining for me more than the fracture.

Sindoori has given a formal visit to the hospital with the horlicks (I want to kill that person who made the ritual of giving horlicks bottles to the patient, hello I like bournvita) bottle and few apples. She was just with me for half-an-hour, in that entire time, she was continuously chatting with someone in sms. My intuition alarmed me, ‘hey rishi there is something wrong’. I was discharged from the hospital after a week, messages from sindoori started fading away day by day.

One of our common friend ‘Rajan’ told me that sindoori and vivek were became close friends. They were talking about everything via sms, vivek & sindoori were discussing all the important matters such as I had idly for breakfast, what your dress colour, I’m going take bath, my dog barked 20 times today, etc. Even vivek’s mom also complaining me that he is always with his mobile, even while bathing also.

I arranged a meeting between sindoori and vivek, not to help their friendship. I thought anyway vivek is not even a average looking guy, when sindoori sees him in person, she will definitely hate him and their friendship will come to an end. But man proposes and god disposes. Sindoori was very much impressed by funny, childlike behavior of vivek, it even strengthened their relationship. Once sindoori told me with a pride in her voice that vivek can eat a full tandoori chicken in 10 minutes (like he can take 1000 pushups in 15 minutes).Oh gals, what is that really turns you on, please tell us.

I told to sindoori over face, look sindu, what you are doing is not right, vivek is not the right person for you; I know how beautiful & intelligent you are, he is nowhere near you. Sindoori replied me that vivek is kind of her dream boy. I never knew that a beautiful gal like sindu will have someone with dark texture, 100 kg weight, pot belly and round spectales as their dreamboy (that is vivek). Moreover she told that his innocence was more appealing to her than anything (oh gal it is craftiness not innocence). Oh gals, sly devils, no one can identify what is deep inside your heart.

Sindoori went to ooty to study her masters in business management. Even though vivek spent most of his time in chatting(SMS) with her.(in cinema hall,beach,gang meets, parties,hotel,college,etc) One day vivek told me that he cannot live with out sindoori’s messages. I tried my entire gimmick to depart them but nothing is worked out. They continued talking with each other like lovers, that friendship (love?!!) continued for 6 months. It gave him some adverse effects also, his grade in all the subjects were came down, he through out of volley ball because of lack of concentration, etc.,

I totally started avoiding him, he started avoiding everyone and vice versa. One day Vivek came to attend one of our common friend hitesh marriage and spent a whole day with us. He gave full attention to us only , surprisingly there is no beep sound from his mobile, no messages from sindoori. All of my friends were talking with ourselves about vivek’s sudden change, instead of confusing with in ourselves we decided to ask vivek itself

When we asked vivek he is not cooperating at first, then we compelled him to answer first, he gave a reaction that he is going tell us a lengthy flash back (we all were eager to listen the flash back, like you all).

Vivek opened his mouth slowly and told, our relationship was really going fine da, all were spoiled because of one guy da, he is the villain, he ruined everything. Rajan asked, who is that da, is it sindoori’s father or brother, tell me da…every problem has solution. With the same love failure expression vivek said, he is anil ambani. VWhhhhhhhhhattttttttttttttttttttttttttt, we all were screamed in a unanimous tone………our heads were swirling like anything, is ambani a relative of sindoori, mindboggling..oowww. I shouted at him, how the hell anil ambani is related to your love, you gone mad.

Yes he is only responsible, now reliance is charging 50 paise per message (for your kind information before that sms is free),that’s why I am unable to message her continuously, my father will kill me If ask more money for re-charge, it is the same case with sindoori also. Her dad is not giving enough pocket money; it was going to be one month, without sms.

We don’t whether to cry or laugh at vivek, we rolled on the floor with laughter. Hey vivek is the value of your friendship is just 50 paise, unbelievable. Silently, I said 1000 big thanks to ambani from my heart.


Epilogue

The story is 100% fiction but it has emerged out some real time inspirations. I have seen most of the time pass (sms) friendships were came to an end, when all the service providers were started charging for sms. Lot of pastime activities was turned as our bad habits. We never listen to anyone’s advices and will never take step to avoid it till anything serious happens.

Categories: